Choosing the Right Person for Your Rebuild Is a Lot Like Dating — and Hiring

Have you ever gone on a first date?

Or think back to the first few times you met your spouse.

At the beginning, everybody is usually on their best behaviour.

You dress well. You listen carefully. You try to make a good impression. You talk about what you want in life.
You look for common ground.

Hiring is quite similar.

The candidate wants to impress the employer. The employer is also trying to convince the candidate that this is a good company to join.

And choosing someone to work with on your landed home rebuild is not very different.

Everyone comes prepared.

Everyone shows you their best work.

Everyone tells you what they can do.

The difficult part is figuring out what happens after the first impression.

I Have the Same Problem When I Hire

I have been hiring people for Inspired Homes for many years, and there is one thing I always tell new staff:

Skills can be learnt. Ability can be improved. But if there is a problem with character, that is much harder to change.

Someone may not know something today. That doesn't worry me too much.

If the attitude is right, they can learn.

If they lack experience, experience can be gained.

If they are weak in a particular area, they can improve.

But character is different.

01 Does the person take responsibility?
02 Do they keep their word?
03 When they make a mistake, do they admit it or immediately look for someone else to blame?
04 When nobody is watching, do they still do what they are supposed to do?
05 When things become difficult, do they step forward or disappear?

Those things are much harder to teach.

And here is the uncomfortable part about hiring:

During the interview, I can't really know.

I can ask questions. I can look at their experience. I can check their previous work. I can spend an hour talking to them.

But ultimately, there is still some guessing involved.

Once they actually start working, however, you normally don't need very long.

Character reveals itself through work.

Choosing Someone for Your Rebuild Has the Same Problem

If you are choosing an architect, designer or builder for a landed house rebuild in Singapore, you are facing something very similar.

Before appointing anyone, you can only assess what is in front of you.

Their portfolio.

Their quotation.

Their presentation.

Their credentials.

Their promises.

And perhaps the chemistry you have with the person.

All of these matter.

But when I look at someone I may work with on a rebuild, I would look beyond price, portfolio and credentials.

I would look closely at the person who will actually handle the project: how they communicate, whether they take ownership, the questions they ask, how clearly responsibilities are defined, and whether they have both the competency and character to deal with problems when they arise.

Because none of the things you see during the sales process can completely tell you what that person will be like six months into the project when there is a difficult problem to solve.

Does he tell you about the problem early?

Or wait until you discover it?

Does he take ownership?

Or immediately start explaining why somebody else is responsible?

Does he give you the answer you want to hear?

Or is he prepared to tell you something you may not like because he genuinely believes it is better for your project?

Does he still answer your calls when the conversation becomes uncomfortable?

That, to me, is when you really know the person you chose.

Dating Has Expectations. So Does Construction.

Relationships don't always break down because either person is bad.

Sometimes two people simply entered the relationship with completely different expectations.

One person thinks something is obvious.

The other person never knew it was expected.

Construction can be exactly the same.

A homeowner says:

“I thought this was included.”

The builder says:

“We never priced for that.”

The architect says:

“That is for the contractor to resolve.”

The contractor says:

“We are waiting for the consultant's instruction.”

Everyone may have a perfectly reasonable explanation.

But as the homeowner, you probably don't care whose explanation is correct.

You just want your house built properly.

That is why expectations should be discussed before the relationship begins, not after the problem appears.

Who is responsible for what?

What is included?

What isn't?

Who makes the decision when something falls into a grey area?

How will changes be handled?

How will you be updated?

These conversations may not be as exciting as looking at beautiful renders, but they can tell you much more about what the next two years of your life will be like.

Pay Attention to the Questions They Ask You

There is another thing I would watch carefully when choosing someone for a rebuild.

Don't only listen to what they are telling you.

Pay attention to what they are asking you.

Are they genuinely trying to understand how your family lives?

Why do you need six bedrooms?

What is important to you?

Where are you prepared to spend?

Where would you rather save?

What is your actual budget?

What are you worried about?

Or are they simply waiting for you to stop talking so they can sell you the solution they already had in mind?

A good professional shouldn't start with his solution.

He should first understand your problem.

Sometimes the quality of someone's questions tells you more about them than the quality of their presentation.

Make Sure You Know Who You Are Actually Choosing

There is another similarity with hiring.

You don't hire a CV.

You hire a person.

And while you may appoint a company to rebuild your house, ultimately:

People build your house.

You may choose a famous architectural firm.

A large construction company.

An impressive design studio.

But who is actually going to handle your project?

Who attends your meetings?

Who makes the decisions?

Who coordinates the consultants?

Who speaks to the site team?

Who updates you when something goes wrong?

And most importantly:

Does that person have the authority and character to take ownership of the problem?

The person who impressed you during the sales presentation may not necessarily be the person you spend the next 18 to 24 months dealing with.

That distinction matters.

Character Is Important. But Competency Still Matters.

Of course, I am not saying character is enough.

I wouldn't hire someone completely incapable simply because he is a nice person.

And you shouldn't appoint someone to rebuild a multimillion-dollar landed house simply because you like him.

There must be competency.

There must be experience.

There must be systems.

There must be the ability to deliver.

But once a reasonable level of competency is established, character becomes extremely important.

Because construction is not a perfectly predictable process.

There will be decisions.

There will be disagreements.

There will be problems to solve.

And when that happens, the character of the people around the table matters enormously.

You Are Not Really Choosing Between Three Quotations

Price obviously matters.

A rebuild is a major financial commitment, and homeowners should compare costs carefully.

But imagine you receive three quotations:

$1.7 million.
$1.9 million.
$2.1 million.
It is tempting to look at them as three prices for roughly the same thing.

But are they?

Before deciding, I would want to understand what each person believes he is responsible for delivering.

What assumptions were made?

What isn't included?

How complete is the scope?

Who coordinates the grey areas between architecture, structure, M&E and construction?

What happens when something falls between two parties?
A cheaper quotation may genuinely be cheaper.

But the number at the bottom of the page doesn't tell you everything.

What matters is how much clarity and certainty you have about what that number actually represents.

This Is Also Why I Believe Strongly in Design and Build

There are many perfectly good ways to deliver a landed home project.

Architect-led projects can work very well.

Builder-led projects can work very well.

Design and Build can work very well.
The structure itself doesn't guarantee a successful project.

The people still matter.
But over the years, I have increasingly believed in having design and construction thinking together from the beginning.

Not because Design and Build magically eliminates problems.

It doesn't.

But because when the people designing the house and the people responsible for building it are working as one team, there are fewer places for responsibility to become blurred.

A design decision can be considered together with its structural, M&E, construction and cost implications.

For a busy homeowner, that can be extremely valuable.

Instead of becoming the person standing between multiple parties trying to determine who should do what, there is clearer ownership of the overall outcome.

And to me, that brings us back to the same thing:

Who is ultimately taking responsibility for your project?

You Are Choosing More Than a Builder

When you choose someone to rebuild your landed house, you are making a much bigger decision than choosing between three prices.

You are choosing the people you may speak to hundreds of times.

The people who will interpret what you want.

The people who will make thousands of small decisions when you are not standing on site.

The people who will tell you when something cannot be done.

The people you need to trust enough to tell you when something shouldn't be done.

And the people you will turn to when something goes wrong.

Maybe that is what dating, hiring and choosing someone for your rebuild have in common.

You only really know someone after you start the journey with them.
And when you are choosing someone to work with on something as important as your home for the next 18 to 24 months, perhaps the question shouldn't only be:

“What are you offering me?”
Maybe you should also ask:

“Who am I really choosing to go through this journey with?”
Because eventually, the drawings will be approved.

The quotation will be signed.

The presentation will be forgotten.

And then the real relationship begins.

Slide
Keith Low is the Founder of Inspired Homes, a Singapore-based design-and-build company specialising in landed home renovations, A&A works, reconstruction and new erection projects.

Since 2012, he has been involved in helping homeowners plan, design and build landed homes across Singapore. His work focuses on balancing design, practicality, budget realism and long-term liveability.

Through the Inspired Homes blog, Keith shares insights on landed home construction, project planning, building costs, design-and-build procurement and lessons learned from real projects across Singapore.
Keith Low
Founder, Inspired Homes Pte Ltd

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